Always self-deprecating, often irreverent, and sometimes playful, Sandy Bernstein regales audiences with outrageous tales that run the gamut from inappropriate selfies to the absurdities of office life. Some will leave you feeling violated (but in a good way). Others will just leave you laughing and begging for more.

Never taking herself too seriously, Sandy brings a quirky perspective to a wide array of topics that include aging, body image, self-esteem, weight loss, menopause, divorce, and familial dysfunction…all with a sprinkling of Jewish humor thrown in for good measure. Whether she’s getting raunchy at a club or keeping it clean for a church or corporate event, Sandy is equally at home in a variety of settings. (In other words, she cleans up nice.)

Sandy has opened for Dat Phan (winner of Last Comic Standing), Dustin Diamond (Screech in Saved by the Bell)Willie Tyler (Willie and Lester), Lucas Bohn (Dry Bar Comedy), the Fat Doctor (DEF Comedy Jam), Robert Mac (Last Comic Standing), Kool Bubba Ice (BET’s Comic View), and Puppet the Psycho Dwarf (Jackass 3D). Her TV credits include a recurring segment on Love on Lockdown: Living Room Comedy Show on and appearances on Amazon Video's Comics Watching Comics, WMAR's Baltimore Loves Talent, Vimeo's Comics on Trial, and the comedy web series Pushers. She was also one of the first 20 comedians (out of more than 200 submissions) to be featured on the Standup Comedy App, an iOS app approved by Apple for distribution on the App Store. 

Sandy was a protégé of the late comedy teacher and legend, the Fabulous Fat Doctor Blagmon, who mentored Dave Chapelle, Martin Lawrence, Wanda Sykes, Tommy Davidson, Donnell Rawlins, Cocoa Brown, Patton Oswald and countless others. 

A native of Baltimore, Sandy has set her sights on one lofty goal: to make John Waters blush. (A girl can dream, can’t she?)


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Sandy Bernstein’s Career Hari Kari, Part 1

Sandy Bernstein’s Career Hari Kari, Part 2

Sandy Bernstein's Career Hari Kari, Part 3

Sandy Bernstein's Career Hari Kari, Part 4

Sandy Bernstein at Cacao Lane


Broadway Comedy Club
(New York, NY)

Greenwich Village Comedy Club 
(New York, NY)

Comic Strip Live 
(New York, NY)

DC Improv
(Washington, DC)

Drafthouse Comedy Theater
(Washington, DC)

Baltimore Comedy Factory
(Baltimore, MD)

Magooby's Joke House
(Timonium, MD)

Sully's Comedy Cellar 
(Baltimore, MD)

The Howard Theatre
(Washington, DC)

(Baltimore, MD)

Arlington Cinema & Draft House
(Arlington, VA)

Charm City Comedy Festival
(Baltimore, MD)

Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
(Philadelphia, PA)

Alberta Street Pub
(Portland, OR)

Lucky Luciano
(Playa del Carmen, MEXICO)

Sky Stage
(Frederick, MD)

(Baltimore, MD)

Bier Baron Tavern
(Washington, DC)

Wonderland Ballroom
(Washington, DC)

(Hyattsville, MD)

Platform Arts Center
(Baltimore, MD)

The Sidebar 
(Baltimore, MD)

Cellar Door
(Frederick, MD)

Breakers Sky Lounge
(Herndon, VA)

(Cape May, NJ)

Westminster Riding Club
(Westminster, MD)

University of Maryland Global Campus
(Largo, MD)